10 Hours

Last night at midnight I asked my brother to give my sister 10 hours.
I asked him to stay in hospital overnight so that she could sleep the night and he told me that he couldn’t do it for someone else.
Then I told him that I was jealous. Envious that she had listened to and heard [...]

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Slippery when wet

I went swimming this evening for the first time since the Sunday before the eggstraction in July. 14w1d ago. I had chosen not to swim while I was pregnant (for a variety of personal reasons) and had sat on the bank while my boys swam. It was odd being back in the water with them [...]

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Changing Times

Yesterday I emptied out the personal items from our first home, my brother carried his broken heart home from Hawai’i and my 15.5 year old niece ran away from home.
M and I bought our first home together in Dublin in June 2001. We lived there when we got married and were still living there when [...]

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A little red shoe… my faith restored

I am not sure that this forum is the best place to post this BUT it does reflect my feelings about the upcoming 4th IVF cycle
D and I took the train to visit a friend today. While the visit was lovely the journey was frought. If we had gone yesterday it would have cost us [...]

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Self Praise is No Praise

I am so impressed that I am here two days in a row. YAY ME!
D slept (with the aid of paracetamol) last night and as a result so did I but because of the small amount of sleep I had the night before and the baby wearing I did yesterday I am feeling very [...]

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D is sick :-(

D is cutting his eye teeth and they are the worst so far. I am in pain with tiredness. He started moaning at 4am this morning and he hasn’t stopped yet! Actually, that is a lie… he slept for a little while a few times during the day. He is now asleep in his cot [...]

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Friday the Thirtheenth

My baby died for no specific reason. It just stopped living. I am free to cycle again whenever the clinic will let me. Today is a great day.
My friend had a son (after 2 daughters) and his name is John Edward.

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What did I do on the day?

I have wondered a lot today what I did the day my baby died. I have looked through old posts on various fora and I can’t find anything special or interesting.
My appetite has returned. I can eat what ever I want when ever I want it.
Friday is so far away now.

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It is all over

I am home now with my boys and they are doing their best to lift my heart.
The “procedure” went according to plan although I did lose a little more blood than my doctor would have hoped for. My hCG is approximately 23,000. I was initially told that it would take 6 weeks for the histology [...]

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How many hours does a day have?

Today is the longest day of my life. I am pregnant and yet I am not. I have a baby inside me yet I don’t have a life growing within. Today is a day of disbelief. Make sure they didn’t make a mistake. It has taken me all day to pack bags for D and [...]

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