Highs & Lows October 26, 2010

I have yet again been off the rails.  This is a dreadful cycle to be in and it continues to frustrate me.  I have been eating all around myself and feel sick and bloated as a result.

So this morning I made the decision to kick the sugar again.  It is now 3.30pm and my head has been thumping for the whole afternoon.  I just downed a cup of coffee in the hope that the caffeine will get me through to home time.  While it has taken the edge off it has certainly not cured me.  I suspect it is just the first day of many but hopefully by the weekend I will be headache free.

Last week, on Tuesday night, J woke in the middle of the night and I knew straight away that a drink of milk was not going to make him go back to sleep so when he asked for milk I told him it was asleep.  He asked a few more times but I offered him a cuddle each time and he was, reasonably, happy with that.  The next night, after a disturbed night the night before, I decided that I didn’t want him nursing for hours through the night so again when he woke I told him that the milk was asleep and offered him a cuddle.  He accepted it.  Last night, Monday night, he rolled over at 10.20 and banged off the radiator and woke up.  I gave him a cuddle and he fell back to sleep straight away.  The next time he woke was 7am!  The milk did well and truly sleep last night J  I am not assuming that the night weaning process is over but it is certainly going very well J  It is so nice to have a positive night weaning experience with him.  When I actively night weaned D he was 8 months and wasn’t eating solids very well.  It was an horrific experience which involved him crying for hours at night, which hindsight shows me was caused by hunger, and I have a lot of guilt about that.

On Saturday J was the same age as D was when I had my second D&C.  It is hard to remember D at that age as I was so wrapped up in pregnancy and loss but in my mind he was so much older than J is now, even though J is so much more talkative & independent that D was.  It is so interesting to watch them grow up together.  Last week I listened to D “teach” J how to count in 10’s and when they got to the end D complimented J and told him that he had done a very good job.