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Bump Stalking January 29, 2008

Posted by Laura in Uncategorized.
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8.30am (with breakfast) 500mg Metformin, Viridian Multivitamin, Viridian B12
2pm (with lunch) 500mg Metformin
8pm (with dinner) 500mg Metformin, 0.5ml Suprefact sc

I find myself staring at bumps. I can’t help it. I don’t compare anymore, to my own missing bump, as I am no longer missing a bump. I just can’t look away. And yet looking makes me sick, with envy, with lust, with longing, with sadness, with fear, but I just can’t look away.

Lately I have become really bothered by the 2 child families, especially the ones with a small baby in a Phil & Teds, it’s even worse if it is black. M has started noticing them too. He will tell me when he saw a buggy like ours, and points out that there was a tiny baby in it. He is not trying to make me feel jealous or to upset me, he is just saying, in his words, that he wants to do that too, have that buggy set up too.

It interests me how he expresses his desire for another child. He has never outright said it and does say that he would be happy to be finished with IVF right.now.! but he lets me know that he wants another, in his own way.

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Comments»

1. R - January 30, 2008

Major bump envy here too. I suppose there will be until either Sept when I would have been due this last baby or till I have a bump of my own, whichever comes first. Other people’s babies make me sick.

I really, really hope that this time is the one that works for you Laura. Please God we’ll both make a ‘take home’ baby in 2008.


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