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It is all we know June 30, 2008

Posted by Laura in IVF, TTC.
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A comment was left earlier which called the lengths we have gone to to make our family awe inspiring but as the title says, it is all we know.  We have never had a natural conception and are unlikely to.  I know no other way to make a baby but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t dearly love to have sex with my husband and wonder if anything has happened.  Imagine telling him that I was pregnant without having gone through all of that, without him spending the 2 weeks dreading the outcome.  WOW, now that would be awe inspiring.

I am silently sitting through someone elses 2 weeks at the moment and I so very much hope that this is the last one she has for a very long time.  I can’t remember waiting for someone any other time that I was pregnant and it feels funny.  I feel no ill will.  I want this to happen.  I actually feel odd being in this position.

Another friend has just started another IVF cycle and I think there is a small part of the little toe on my left foot that is not willing it to work for her, the rest of my body is 2 million percent behind it.

By the way the small part of the little toe on my left foot is too busy being concerned on a daily basis that my baby has died over night).  While the baby has not, as yet, died, the dread is still there every.single.day.  I hope one of these days that dread will go away (even a little) but I am not near there now.

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1. R - July 1, 2008

Yeah but I would dearly love to have sex with my husband and NOT wonder if anything has happened so I suppose it’s all about where we’re coming from….

I stand by my comment, anyone who goes through countless heartbreaking rounds of IVF is pretty amazing in my book. The drive to keep going despite the pain you had experienced amazes me and I’m glad you’re finally being rewarded.

Dunno if the dread will ever go for you but I hope it does. I’m *still* half convinced C will be dead in his sleep when I tuck him in at night and he’s almost 9!


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