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Infertility & Lemons August 22, 2008

Posted by The Mom in Uncategorized.

For a long time I have wondered if the type of infertility someone lives with affects their feelings about their infertility.  I am infertile by association (although in recent years I have demonstrated my own secondary infertility and habitual miscarriage pattern so it is not a one sided thing any more) and thankfully (for us) we leaped from “I wonder if anything is wrong” to “When can we start IVF?” in a very short period of time.  On July 28th 2003 I started the “I wonder if anything is wrong?” journey.  6w3d later we were getting ready for IVF.  It took another 19.5 weeks to actually get started but in that whole time we were moving towards something finite.  By the time we were 20 months trying (in which we only had 8 actual attempts at getting pregnant (6 on our own, 2 with help) I was pregnant with D.

I know so many people who have gone through such longer journeys than we have, mainly due to the lack of a diagnosis.  I have often wished that we had unexplained infertility simply because of the number of women who get pregnant naturally after a successful pregnancy simply because pregnancy has fixed them.  However more people present to IVF clinics with secondary fertility than primary because pregnancy has broken them.

The longer the baby making process takes whether you are getting help or not the more it must affect your perception of others baby making process.  Our journey to #2 was WAY longer than we expected it to be and that time has changed me.  The fact that our primary diagnosis has been with us for almost 5 years and was always in the background has helped me not get lost in the unknowning of having nothing to hang my hat on as the reason why we were not making a baby.

This post is not quite going where I wanted it to go and I am no longer sure where I wanted it to go.  I guess sometimes it is hard to remember that everyone who walks through the doors of an IVF clinic took a different route to get there and some of those routes involved more lemons than other (lemons being bitter rather than badly working things, although badly working attempts at baby making also applies).



1. Orla - August 25, 2008

I have been lurking around this blog for a while now and this last post feels like I almost could have written it with a few small details changed. it resonates with me today especially.
I have felt recently like a bit of a cyber stalker of yours as I have read so many of your posts on MM about IVF, we are getting ready for our first cycle at the moment.
I wish you well and hope that I will have two lines around the time you have a baby in your arms.

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