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Ruth, here is what I have been thinking October 4, 2008

Posted by The Mom in Uncategorized.

Ruth left a comment yesterday & I thought about replying in a comment but decided it warranted more than that.

She asked:

Do you think, aside from the pain of ttc and miscarriage, that there are any benefits to D being this age before you managed to conceive a sticky? Or do you wish it had happened sooner?..

I have thought a lot about this over the last little while and I am falling on the side of “this is a great age gap” but to be honest I don’t know yet how he will react at 3y7m to a baby actually being in our house.  Only time will tell on that one.

While I would obviously like to have not gone through 5 cycles, including 2 miscarriages, before getting here there are definite pluses to him being this age.  His speech has improved phenomenally since the Spring and he is now able to express himself so that most people can understand him.  When I got pregnant the first time and approaching my first EDD his speech was almost non existant and very much open to interpretation.  He is so independent now.  As you would expect he can feed, (un)dress, shower, pick up after himself.  If he wants a treat he can go, with permission, to get it himself so I don’t have to run around after him all the time.  Now the feeding/dressing is dependent on his mood and the time we have to get out of the house.  He is a year out of nappies, dry day and night and I don’t think I would have facilitated him getting out of nappies so soon if I had a small baby.

He is a great kid and I am glad he got this extra time with us.  I know that everything will change in a few short months and we will never go back to him being an only child but I hope that it is to the betterment of our family.  We have a provisional date in mind for the frozen cycle which would have a similar age gap if it were to work so obviously we are happy with the gap 🙂



1. Ruth - October 5, 2008

LOL, a whole post to answer my Q!

We have a 5 yr 5 mth gap here so I can appreciate the plusses of having an independant child!

I’m sure it will absolutely be to the betterment of your family although no doubt there will be days where you wondered why you had children at all!! (Or am I the only one who thinks that sometimes?!)

2. ajourneythrough - October 5, 2008

I already think that some days 🙂 You are not alone.

3. Maria - October 6, 2008

That scares me, my looming 14 month gap seems very daunting in comparison!!
I am just hoping that DS will not really take any notice of the new person in the house, and that after a few days he will just think that he or she was always here.
I feel bad that I won’t have very long with him on his own though, but, glad that he will have a sibling to play with.

Sorry rambling!!

4. Derval - October 11, 2008

The gap between alex & lily is 3 years 6m (less 2 days). I found that at least when they are a wee bit older they understand more when you tell them that you need to do x for the baby & then you will help/play with them etc.. Still tough though….but then Lily was hard work, the little darling. If you’re brave enough here was my way back then post…aaah…I can look back now & smile.

5. Lorna - October 13, 2008

Hi there,

We have a 3 year 3 month gap between Morgan and Bláthnaid. While it was hard at the start, friends with more than one child had told me that when B was up and on her feet that they would have more in common. I am glad to say they were right and now they get on well. M is v. patient with her now and kinda understands she sometimes can’t help barging into his things. At times they are together silently doing something together without a row – hurray!!

6. Lorna - October 13, 2008

Can’t count today – there is three years 4 months between them!!!

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