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Infant bondage January 13, 2009

Posted by Laura in family, parenting.
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If J is not wrapped up, preferably in a sling, he cannot sleep without startling himself.  As a result he rarely sleeps in the car but can sleep for hours, like now, tied to my chest.

D is a new child, and the house is a happy one, since we started setting realistic limits and pointing out to him who is the boss in the house.  Just now he has gone into the kitchen to get a cloth to have his face and hands washed for bed.  He was not asked to go, he offered and I accepted.  He is killed telling me that he loves me, loves J, loves Dadda and we in turn assure him that we love him too.

In 2 weeks it will be 5 years since we started our first IVF cycle and 2009 is the first year since 2002 that hasn’t involved trying to make or grow a baby.  I am strangely feeling the absence of IVF in my life.  I had my 6 week check yesterday.  J was 7 weeks but last week was just too close to New Year to venture to Dublin.  Up until Friday of last week I was sure the appointment was on Tuesday at 1.45.  On Friday I rang the hospital to confirm but I got a machine.  On Saturday morning I was lying in bed thinking “I remember when they gave me the appointment thinking “He was born on Monday and my review is Monday, isn’t that nice” so maybe the appointment is not on Tuesday afterall.  I rang the hospital and they were able to tell me that my appointment was in fact on Monday at 1.30, not Tuesday at 1.45.  I am glad I rang!

At the appointment the Ob checked that my uterus is back where it should be, it is, so according to him I can do situps again – again?  when did I do them in the first place?  He checked that my pelvic floor is in tact and that I am not in the height of post natal depression.  Then he asked me about contraception and reminded me that breastfeeding isn’t a guaranteed contraceptive and we should consider the barrier method.  I laughed and asked him if he knew why we did IVF in the first place.  He said he did and that while the chances of a natural pregnancy were small they were still there.  I assured him that I would be delighted to be back as his patient again.  Which leads me to my confession.

I expected J’s arrival to complete me.  To fill the final space in our family.  I expected that even having the frozen embryo.  But he hasn’t.  I adore him, he is one of the 2 most amazing things I have done in my life but I don’t want him to be the last of his kind.  Interestingly nor does M.  We are agreed that other than the frozen cycle there is no more IVF but we are both agreed that if there were a third child to come into this little group of ours we would be happy.

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Comments»

1. Ruth - January 16, 2009

Everytime I see this post I think of it appearing in the most unusual internet searches!!

Glad things are going well and life as a family-of-four is going smoothly.

2. Ruth - January 16, 2009

Oh & you know that I can totally identify with your closing comments. We’re in the same place as regards additions to the family.


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