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Not a good month October 6, 2009

Posted by The Mom in Uncategorized.
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6 years ago yesterday I had a laparoscopy to check if everything was where it should be before we started IVF.

3 years ago yesterday I had my first ERPC.


3 years ago
at the end of the month my brother agreed to stay in a mental health facility so that my sister could get some sleep.

In those 6 years we did 7 IVF’s with one more ahead of us.

In those 3 years I got pregnant 2 more times and lost another baby, but I got to keep one too – something I am truely grateful for.

In those 3 years my brother has learned to want something again, become able to commit to something that lasts longer than the rest of the week. Last weekend he was reelected as President of the sports body that he is involved in. On Monday he started a PhD.

I am dealing with a lot of 3rd baby envy at the moment, which is not fun. I keep dreaming I am pregnant again and end up waking sad and disappointed. Part of me even feels disappointed with the fact that IVF #8 is so far away but the logical part of my brain knows that it is when it is for a set of very good reasons. I have said it before but I wouldn’t mind the wait if I knew what the outcome would be.

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