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This post has had so many titles February 21, 2010

Posted by The Mom in Uncategorized.

I have been writing this post in my head for about 36 hours and it kept having different titles to the point where I couldn’t decide on one 🙂

The possible titles were:

– Letting go of resentment
– Ask & Ye shall receive
– If you don’t ask, you don’t get
– Widower Twanky

Looking at those titles I almost feel the need to not write any more as the content of the post really is summarised by the titles.

I went to stay with my sister for a few days at the end of last week because her daughter (the same age as D) was on mid term break from school. When I arrived in her house (Thursday afternoon, following a very successful trip to the izoo) I set up 4 delayed text messages to M. I told him what laundry I wanted washed/dried/aired, that I wanted the bin emptied and that it was time to get up (D is his alarm clock but I had D with me therefore no alarm clock). Before now I might have asked for one load of laundry, if I remembered to ask at all and so many times I have been resentful of him for doing no laundry while I was away because surely he should know that there are 5 loads of washing to be done and that they aren’t going to do themselves. But he doesn’t know. It simply doesn’t occur to him to check. I am in no way speaking ill of him. Laundry simply isn’t on his radar, full stop and as soon as I realised, and accepted that, it became easier to come home to no laundry being done but also to actually ask him to do it. So I did. I asked him to wash & dry 4 loads of washing. I was gone for 50 hours & he did all of the laundry that I asked him to do. To say I was impressed is an understatement.

Yesterday was our 8th wedding anniversary & we went out for dinner. My sister, with whom we had stayed on Thursday & Friday, came home with us yesterday and baby sat for us. It was the first time we had been out for dinner since just after I got pregnant with J.

I feel so much more content & at peace in our marriage now than I have done for a while. My husband has been wearing his wedding ring for 26 hours now. I asked him to put it on when we were going out to dinner last night (he doesn’t wear it because it is too big – we are both lighter than when we got married) and he has kept it on 🙂



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