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6 years ago today February 22, 2010

Posted by The Mom in Uncategorized.

I had my first egg retreival. I had another 4 over the next 4 years but that first one, so filled with hope, is so memorable. I can recall every detail of it, down to the socks I was wearing. Heck I even know what knickers I was wearing.

D was made that day. He went on to be frozen for 5 months and I brought him home, inside me on July 17th 2004, and home on the outside on April 19th 2005.

I know where I was while he was being made. I slept on the couch in our home in Dublin while M did the dishwasher. He minded me. Cared for me. Fed me, made me tea, asked me over and over if I was OK, if I needed anything. It was such a hope filled but scary day.

It has been a rollercoaster 6 years.

I am sat in my bed now with my nearly 5 year old in the next room and my 15 month old starfish sleeping in the middle of the bed beside me.

In this moment of quiet, with all of my boys asleep, I am thinking of my last IVF, the one that is yet to come. We have talked about the possibility of doing more than one but we are agreed that while we would like another baby our family does not have what it takes, personally, emotionally, spiritually, financially to deal with the imact of more IVF. We do not want to be in this position again, having a small baby with frozen embryos, trying to make the timing decisions again. So we will do one more, pray, hope, will for it to be successful and possibly go to our graves without the child that we would like.

IVF is invading my thoughts more and more these days, but that is something for another day.



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