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Damage Control July 27, 2010

Posted by Laura in Uncategorized.
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In the 3 months since we moved into the borrowing house my eating habits have yoyoed all over the place.  Needless to say this has had a detrimental effect on my weight.  Yesterday morning, when I got up, I was 7kg heavier than the day I hit my goal weight on March 19th.  I have been aware of the extra weight for a while but have not actually acknowledged that it is there and needs to be sorted until last Friday when I put on a pair of skinny jeans, struggled to pull them up and finally acknowledged that they were too small and took them off.  I haven’t grown out of any clothes in the last 18 months and it was not a nice feeling.  Most of the 7kg has gone onto my thighs which I am not happy about in the slightest as my thighs are big enough without extra weight going on them.

So yesterday I started tracking again but more importantly than that I stopped buying Natural Confectionary Company Jelly Snakes.  Oh, how I love those snakes.  There are 8 points in a bag of snakes which is bad enough but I don’t only eat them.  Because if I am eating the snakes then I am also eating 6 dark chocolate rice cakes (9 points) and usually sugar popcorn from lidl (14).  So 8 points is not *that* bad but a total of 31 points (and €6) on junk in a day is way too much.  It is beyond way too much.  It is gaining 7kg in 3 months!  It is also up to €150 a month on junk food that is doing nothing good for me.

Yesterday we went for a walk in the afternoon to the filling station and I resisted the urge to buy anything sweet for me and I was happy that I did.  7kg now could so easily be 20kg by Christmas and I.am.not.going.there!

I am exploring the idea of buying a Wii for us all to play with but also so that I can work out and play at the same time.  I have found a second hand one for €150.  Now I just need to convince M that it is a good idea J

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I keep expecting someone to change the mirrors back to “real” mirrors and that I will stop seeing the thin woman in my reflection.  I continue to be surprised by it, even though it has been like that for months now.  Interestingly I have stopped looking to the back of the clothes rail (where the 18/20/22’s are kept) and now automatically go for the size 14.

I am bored with my clothes.  My sister calls them my uniform.  I wear long sleeve tshirts and jeans, all the time.  The last round of long sleeve tshirts that I bought was before I went to the US & they have been washed and dried too many times at this stage and are short, both in the body and in the sleeve so all I need to do it raise up my arm & the sleeve is half way up my arm and I have 4” of midriff showing.  Thankfully I wear a €7 plastic surgery control vest so no one is seeing the waves of size 24 skin on a size 14 body.  It is time to retire those tshirts but I am not ready to retire the style.

I bought new clothes yesterday and to be honest I didn’t even bother with the 16’s.  If the 14 didn’t fit I didn’t bother with the item, because I am not a 16.  If I let myself be a 16 in this item of clothing then I am giving myself permission to be a 16 in the items that I am currently a 14 in.  I have to say that I love Penneys.  Yesterday I got 2 black long sleeve tshirts (sleeves are long enough for my longer than average arms and the body is long enough to have me raise up my arms and not even pull it up as far as my belt), a pair of black track bottoms for evening wear (I don’t wear track bottoms out in public any more) and a black cardigan with the long hanging down in the front bits (I am sure it has a proper name but I am not up on fashion to know what it is called).  I have been looking for the cardigan for a long time but the sleeves are always too small (both in the length and the size of the upper arms) but this one is perfect.  All in all I spent €27 in Penneys, and could have spent more if I had had it with me.  I will go back for more tshirts later in the week while D is in camp & then get rid of the old ones.

In June of last year I bought 3 tshirts in AWear.  Being able to buy anything in AWear blew my mind at the time and now I wouldn’t bother going in but only because I don’t like their stuff.

I have stopped wearing my maternity tshirts in bed at night and have retired the AWear tshirts to bedtime use only.  It is now time to photograph all of my plus size maternity wear and list them for sale.  If I ever get pregnant again I won’t be wearing them, I will be buying myself a full set of thin girl maternity clothes.

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