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For everyone asleep in the back row December 15, 2011

Posted by Laura in Uncategorized.
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On September 30th I asked you to leave after you decided that not speaking to me for 48 hours was an appropriate punishment for the fact that I 1. went ahead with attending the joint counselling session that you refused to go to and 2. refused to take our child to school because after lying in bed for 30 minutes you didn’t have time to have a shower, have breakfast and get him to school.

But let me go back a little.

In February you told me that if I didn’t cut short my visit to my parents, so that I could take your father to visit your mother in hospital as you refused to close the shop to take him, that I shouldn’t bother coming home.

In May you told me that if I didn’t have our child in school by September you would leave.

In June you told me that if I refused to attend the school meeting alone (if you didn’t close the shop to attend it with me) and it resulted in our child losing the school space that you would leave.  You even went so far as to pack a bag .

Between June and September you asked me regularly, for a variety of reasons, if I would like you to leave.

As school start time is 9.20 and I have to be in work 20km away at 9.30 you agreed to doing all of the school drop offs.

Between August 31st & September 30th you asked me no less than 6 times to do the school run, including that final morning that you needed me to do it so that you could have 15, much needed, minutes in bed.  WAIT!  Didn’t you say that you couldn’t shower and take him to school?

Have I mentioned that you are a bully?

On September 3rd you put our child outside because he was messing at the dinner table and then walked off to eat your dinner else where, which was itself a regular occurance, informing me that you were never having anything to do with him again, another regular occurance.  When I told you that you may as well leave because you don’t get to live here and not parent you took me up on my offer.

The next day you pushed and pushed and pushed me to ask you to come home.  You came home and slept on the couch and then in bed.  When I went to go out you told me to take the kids with me because you wanted nothing to do with the older one.

In all of that time I gave in to your bullying.  I stood there, or rather laid down, and took it.  Every time you told me you would leave or asked me if I wanted you to leave a little thing went off in my brain that said “Save your marriage, at all costs”.  You knew that thing was there and you took advantage of it.  I let you walk all over me to save my marriage.

But what was I saving?  The fact that I took care of all the bills?  That I dealt with all phone calls and paperwork because you “couldn’t”.  It wasn’t a marriage.  I was your whipping boy.

On September 30th I asked you to leave, or rather when you said “Do you want me to leave?” I replied “Yes” and it was one of the best things I could have done with my life.

Now will you ever leave me the fuck alone and stop thinking you can get one over on me?

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